The Trek
Every step up
Forces air from your lungs,
It's too hard to talk,
So, you cry.
Why would you leave
Such a well-known green
For whatever is on
The far side?
Your heels dig in,
The dirt gets thick,
Can you lift your leg
From the floor?
A life that you know
For one that you don't,
Less time when you could
Have had more.
The enemy you've seen
From all sides of the screen,
The comfort in knowing
The pain,
The way that he strikes,
The flow of the fights,
The start and the end
Of the game.
You survive every time,
But if survival is life,
You really should rethink
The trek,
Two years, almost three,
But if you look, you'll see me
In a love that was worth
Every step.
Snowflake
His shoulders fall forward,
His nose scrunches up,
He grabs at the neck of his shirt,
To adjust side-to-side,
It's a tick that he'd hide
If he knew that I knew of this quirk.
You can hate someone deeply,
A fire can rage when you think
Of what they have done,
But a single snowflake
Will land on the flame
With a look at who he once was.
Broken
It boils from below,
Like a simmering pot,
It burns, and it stings,
Inconsistently hot,
Warm and then scorching,
But always too much
To take when our lives
Will never not touch,
A friend turned to whispers,
Disappeared like a song,
A word that is said
But is instantly gone,
That is who I am,
To him, I'm a dream,
One he forgot
While still sound asleep,
It's not that his heart
Simply healed and let go,
But sadly, I think,
His heart never broke,
It never held mine,
I just held his alone,
And that is a pain
I will never not know.
The battle
I’m angry that battles
Raged in my mind
For 8 years of days
And 8 years of nights,
"You aren't treated well,
And you aren't treated right,
This isn't a partner,
You will find the light"
"But the kids and the house
And the kids and this life,
And my time with the kids,
Will the kids be alright?"
I'm angry that battles
Still rage through the night,
While he’s never once
Thrown himself in the fight.
Karma
She sits on her shelf, and
She listens.
Right next to the elf, and
The trinkets,
She keeps to herself, but
She’s sinking
In, she can tell what
You’re thinking.
She gives and she takes
With a smile,
She builds and she breaks
With her eyes,
Before you can take
Back the vile
Things that you say,
You’ve been tried.
Peace
Her head hits the branch,
She looks to the sky,
The wind whistles through
The leaves,
The sun creates ribbons
Of translucent gold
Through just enough dust
To see,
She looks to the side
To see the grass shimmer,
She’s never seen something
So green,
She listens with ears
Tuned to the sounds
That match her own heart as
It beats.
She may never find
Perfection in life,
But she’d never say she didn’t
Find peace.
His Eyes
There are fluttery kicks I have come to expect
When I feel the daggers he shoots from his eyes,
So sharp, I think “piercing” is the word that I use,
Since I’ve yet to find one to better describe
How difficult it is to meet such a gaze,
How, when I do, I lose all of my mind
To shivers and quakes and the rumbling roar
Of falcons that fly right out from my spine.
The Expiration Date
It hangs there,
In the corner of the room,
It watches over me as we talk.
I want to kiss you,
But it has this hold
That is forcing me to stop.
I want to tell you
Everything and
Be with you all the time,
But there it is,
Just hanging there,
In complete control of my mind.
Ghosted
Her ear was cool when he answered the call,
The chill dropped to her feet.
She saw him walking, strong and tall,
He smiled, and her knees went weak.
A frost began to follow their lead,
Their steps were left in snow,
She shivered when they crossed the street,
He said he’d take her home.
The car was all but a block of ice,
It would take her days to know,
She asked if he would step inside,
But she didn’t expected he’d go.
The couch would be the next in line
To take the frosty blow,
Soon enough, the cold would find
It’s way into her phone.
She tried everything to keep this one,
But with temperatures so low,
Not even the burning sun itself
Could save her from this ghost.
The Outside
I stared at the ceiling tiles with a racing heart,
In the spaced out, white squares, I could make out his eyes.
They were sharp and over-shadowed by a prominent ridge,
They pierced through the room I had been stuck inside,
It’s been many years since I've lived above ground,
In darkness, you forget how the sun feels on your skin,
But when he told me my smile went just to one side,
And he liked it that way, I felt warm again.
Grown-up
I just don’t know so much,
It seems that every day
I learn how much I do not know
In the most embarrassing ways.
I say the things I thought I knew,
But then, find out I’m wrong,
I sing the lyrics slightly off
When I thought I knew the song.
I thought that I would grow-up
Some day and know a lot,
Turns out being a grown-up
Is learning that you do not.
Night Out
Faces, painted with smiles,
Girls are sad
That their friends are late.
Boys are constantly
Scanning the crowd
For who will be
Their next date.
Faces, shiny with sweat,
Girls are dancing
In circles with friends,
Boys are scared
To look silly as
They wait for the
Night to end.
Faces, wet with tears
From conversations
That got too real,
Boys are waiting
Out the girls
Expressing
What they feel.
Faces, sticky with
A hint of vodka,
Will they get home safe?
I can’t speak for
Them, but I will,
‘Cause I never
Left my place.
The Choice
When I am alone on the floor,
Sitting cross-legged like a kid,
I remember the days before
We went and did what we did.
When the song echos throughout
The house, and I hear your voice
laughing and dancing about,
I sit and I question my choice.
When I am alone in the room,
On the bed I jokingly claimed,
I lay and I wonder if you
Are laying and thinking the same.
The More You Know
The more you know,
The less you know,
If you don’t think
That’s true,
Try knowing something
You didn’t know,
But you always thought
You knew.