The Room
Jealousy and hatred
Fill me when I think
Of the times she has called,
And you have gone.
What is it about her
That a text is unread,
And all of the chores
Are undone?
What does she have
That is so comforting,
So warm, so great,
That I don't?
How has she managed
To take two of you, now,
When I could not,
Would never, and won't
Choose 4 walls
Over the whole house,
Or a game over the
Words we'd share?
Yet, she wins again,
And I don't understand
Why I can never
Seem to compare.
Celebrity Crush
Unattainable.
A dream.
A wish.
A hope.
A feeling
When I
See his face
In a post.
A wish
On a star,
A small
Held prayer.
A perk
Of my ears
When the name's
In the air,
A joke
That I make
About
Us two,
Never to
Worry, it
Cannot
Come true.
On the
Big screen
In my mind,
He is
Untouchable,
Unreachable,
Unbelievable,
And this
World where I
Close my
Eyes, and
I stand
Side by
Side with
His hand in
My hand
Is unattainable,
A dream,
A wish,
A rush,
A celebrity,
And I am
Just a girl
With a crush.
Peep Hole
He sees my words,
My thoughts,
My dreams,
The reasons
I don’t care
To see a
Sad movie,
The food I eat,
The things I want,
My favorite seat.
He sees me fall,
And hurt,
And cry,
Insecurities
Of mine,
All he does
Is check the time
To see it all,
But now I find
He sees my words,
So small,
So lean,
Through a hole,
He takes a peak,
But if the door
Would open, he
Would finally
See all of me.
The Park
I haven't written
About him
Since he told me
Not to write,
Because the things
I had said
Had already crossed
His mind.
I've kept him
To myself,
But, today, I
Fell upon
A video
Of him that
Was taken
By my son.
We're at the
Park, and he is
Standing, shoulders
High, and strong.
The picture changes
Angles, but we
Catch him
When he walks.
His feet are bare,
He walks toward
Me, his eyes,
Looking away.
I can’t tell you why,
But I watch this
Every day.
I Know
The day I left
His house I closed
The door and said
Aloud
These words
Like I was asked
My feelings from
The clouds,
Like muscle memory
Kicked in and took
Control, I had
No choice.
A doctor swung
A hammer at my
Heart to hear
My voice.
I know.
Then every time
I've seen him since
And we start to
Part ways,
I say aloud
The second that
He can't see
My face
These words,
And I write it down
In a diary
I keep
To show him when
The time is right,
But for now is just
For me.
I know.
And now I wait
Here for the day
That I get to
Hear back
The words I have
Screamed to his face
While hidden behind
A laugh,
A smile, a nod,
A tug at his shirt,
A kiss, cause it's
Too soon,
But you can bet
I can’t wait
To hear him say
It too.
I know.
Hung The Moon
I look at you
Like you know
Everything that there is
To know.
I look at you
Like all of the planets
Revolve around
Your glow.
I look at you
Like every war
In the world could be
Dissolved.
You could smile,
And all of the problems
That we have could
Be solved.
I know it's not
That likely that
You could do just what
I said,
But if I was told
You hung the moon,
I would not be surprised
You did.
Run
Dear rider next in line,
Listen closely, please,
For the ride you will be taking
Is not what the poster reads.
“Full of flirty fun and fire,
Free of heartache, see the glow!
Feel the warmth, the love, the heat,
Go places you would never go!”
Having gotten off this ride,
Burned, yet, nowhere near the sun,
I’m begging you to leave the line
Before it is too late to run.
Out
I want out.
I have never been around
A love that held me down,
I have never
had a heavier
Crown.
I see from this two-story window
That I just might
Reach
The ground.
If I could stick the landing,
I just might
Jump now.
Scattered steps from an unfit foot,
But you won’t
See me
Around
When I get out.
How it Goes
Here's how it goes
When I meet a guy,
He thinks that I'm cute
And quirky and bright,
He thinks that I have
Something he's never seen,
He thinks that we make
Such a great team,
He's perfect and funny,
And I fall to the floor,
He's sweet and likes
Everything I adore,
And I fall under ground,
I fall to the core
Of the earth and I melt
Like I've never before,
Then he tells me the thing
That I did not expect
From a man that I spoke to
For days without rest,
For days and weeks
And months on end,
He tells me that he
Loves me as a friend.
He Thinks
He thinks I'm great,
I don’t know why.
He thinks I'm funny,
Like I don’t try.
He thinks I'm smart,
He thinks I might
Be good for him,
If I play nice.
He thinks I'll be
What he wants.
He thinks that I
Will get along
With his friends
Who like to talk.
He thinks I'm strong
Enough to stop
My jealousy
When he drops
Stories of
The girls I’m not,
But he is wrong
In his thoughts.
I think he needs
To re-think a lot.
Poker
I picked up the cards
From the table
When I sat down.
I had an ace,
And a ten,
Both spades,
Ante's out.
He picked up his cards,
Leaned back,
Looked around.
I smiled,
And he frowned.
My spirts up,
And his, down.
I straightened my elbows,
Bit my lip,
Shared my space.
He held close
To the chest,
Looked at no
Other face.
I bet after he passed,
Then he bet
Before too late.
Was it boredom?
Or a play? Only he
Could ever say.
But he wouldn't.
Three cards on the table:
An ace of clubs,
A jack of spades,
A king of spades.
My smile grew,
His frown stayed,
And we played.
He bet, and I raised it.
He met it, but
His face did
This thing where I
Could tell
He wasn't feeling
What I felt.
A 10 of hearts was laid.
I sighed, but it's okay.
I have two aces.
I could make it.
He looked happy,
But he faked it.
I knew it once the final
Card was laid.
A queen of spades.
Too soon? Or fate?
Was it more than
He could take?
But he looked away.
I tried to signal.
I tried to scream.
It was okay,
'Cause we were a team,
If I go all in,
I win. And if I win,
He wins.
But we just played.
He held his hand closer, now,
And he bet
Once more.
He didn't even look to see
As I turned toward
The door.
You could call it a bluff,
But I could feel
His hand
Was cold.
It’s sad, but
In this game, two
Can’t hold the
Cards I hold,
So, I fold.
Good Enough
I look at her,
She's perfect.
I hear the way
He speaks of her,
I remember how
He's talked about
Missing her
For years.
I see, now,
Why the girls
Who have come
In and out
Have felt
The way I do,
And have had
The same fears.
I cannot compete
With perfection.
I don’t want
To go on
Thinking he
Could leave
If, someday, she
Shows up.
I'd rather have
Nothing then
Spend my time
In love but
Never feeling
Like, to him,
I am
Enough.
Her Spot
She left her spot 6 years ago,
A hole, a mold he tried to fill,
But two years gone, and she was still
Not enough to fit.
He said that I might be the one,
The closest to the very sun
Herself, but even if I won,
What did I really win?
A spot where I will always be
The closest to the person he
Lost, but then, now what if she
Wants it back again?
Irrational
I have seen every photo
Of you on Facebook,
And not just yours.
I have seen every girl
Throughout your life
Give you more
Then I think
I have
To give.
I am not a hit,
I am a miss.
And every picture I see
Of your face hurts more
Than the last.
If it hurts this bad now,
I can’t imagine
Looking back
In a year,
Or in two,
Or as soon
As you say
We're through.
And it doesn't make sense
To know that we won't
Survive.
I just can’t stay
With someone so close
To the sky
While I'm stuck
Down here,
While I’m living
In fear,
While nothing else
Is clear.
Is it irrational that I think like this?
Look at the way you
Held her head in a kiss.
Look at the way
Your smile glows
Looking at her.
Everyone knows
Two stars are meant
To be,
But we are one star
And a me.
Looking at these pictures,
I can finally see.
What's irrational is not
That I think I might be able
To keep you,
What's irrational is that
I ever thought I had this chance
To lose.
The Moment
Every second that's passed,
I can’t help but assume
That your interest is gone
And will not resume.
I may text you back,
But I'm sure what I said
Sounded nothing like
What it did in my head.
And the chances of you
Sending back in return
A message that's more
Than a couple of words
Is nothing to hold
My breath over now.
There's no way you like me
This moment around.
So when my phone says
That a message arrived.
I'm shocked it's from you.
And I'm shocked that it's nice.
I'm shocked that you seemed
To like me back then,
One moment ago,
A moment I'll spend
Every day in,
Like I know it's the last
Moment you're interest in me
Hasn't passed.
A Taste
It touches
The tip of
My tongue
And lights up
All the parts
Of my heart
And my mind
And my gut,
Then it turns
Into tingles
And flutters,
A high
That takes
Me beyond
Every cloud
In the sky,
And I think
That if this
Can be mine
For a while,
I'd spend
Every day
With a you
And a smile,
But I reach
Out my hand
Cause I want
One more taste,
But it's gone
Cause he has
To go back
To his place.
Now, I know
That this is
Hard to get
If you've had
A plate of
This love your
Whole life, but
My past
Was so bland,
That sometimes
When he leaves,
And I fall,
I think that
I'd rather
Have not tasted
It at all.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
You're so scared of losing me,
And I'm so scared I don't have you
That I don't say
What's on my mind
'Cause I don’t think
You think it, too.
I'm so scared of losing you,
And you're so scared you don’t have me
That you hold your
Words too close
And hand them out
Too carefully.
You're so scared of losing me,
And I'm so scared I don't have you.
A self-fulfilling
Prophecy if
Neither of us
Speaks up soon.